My time with Sarah

Topic: Interesting
Date: April 29th, 2009

Yo Diary
I have been watching my human house guest very carefully and modifying my behaviour around her. I have stopped myself from lifting the couch with one hand to do the cleaning, stopped myself from using my enhanced speed to also do the cleaning and let me say being a human must suck ass, it takes forever to do anything.

I most of all have stopped myself from drinking blood around her.

I had an interesting time with Sarah when we went to collect her things. I examined the inside of the house and Sarah was indeed correct about the people she was staying with, they are cultist, there is a fucking cross in every room and a photo of Jesus in the hallway hanging off the wall. I raised an eyebrow and poked it. I don't understand those religious nuts honestly.

I don't I have any faith in a higher power because it's completely fucked up. I mean you hear people saying God gave me the strength to overcome my drug problem, God gave me the strength to recover after getting hit by a bus. If there was a God do you really think he would let you get hit by a bus, well, probably, it all depends on how much of an asshole you are.

I mean it's those types of people that annoy me the most, if there is a God, they're implying that they are somehow special. That God has chosen to help them, while there are many out there suffering. The people who are getting raped and abused, those who are suffering from illnesses like cancer and aids.

Those who are living in third war countries starving and those who aren't loved and have no one to suport them. Those humans are implying that they are greater than the rest, here is a spoiler for them all there is no God and no one is listening to your prayers and even if there was a God ,and I say IF, then what sort of sick fucker who created the universe and all its glory and created humanity make it so his own creations to suffer from illness, death, injustice pain and loneliness hate and slavery....what sort of sick fucker would allow that. That's something I probably would have said to the cultist if I saw them.

You can probably guess religion is a touchy subject for me. In my human life I was a religious man, my parents raised me to have faith in our lord and saviour. They told me one day everything would work out if we were good and had faith that we would have our freedom and be happy together.

I lost my faith the day I killed my family in a blood frenzy. The only thing I believe in now is myself, because what else is there to believe in....nothing. I helped her and examined the cross that was super glued over the bed I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

Afterwards we went home and she unpacked, I sat on her bed and laid on it she looked at me in a strange fashion and I shook it off I asked her if she believed in god and she told me this exactly

"Fuck god, Fuck the entire world, the only one you can trust and depend on is yourself...trusting others will get you fucked up the ass faster than a priest on an alter boy so you have two choices..... your doing the fucking ......or your the one to be fucked. I learned that the hard way."

I was surprised at her statement, she was full of rage and I could see pain in her eyes. Seeing the pain behind those beautiful eyes, it shocked me and I found it nearly unbearable. I asked her why she felt that way and she told me this... "none of your business." I told her that was fair enough.

That evening we went out food shopping and I kept her distracted so she wouldn't ask why I wasn't taking anything for me. I asked Sarah about her real parents and she froze for a minute she told me she was special because her parents were special. I asked her how her parents were special. Sarah told me her father had the power of invisibility, that she never knew him so she "did not give a flying fuck" what happened to him.

I pressed on about her mother and she did not say anything, she changed the subject....asking how much my car cost me. I took the hint and it pass, something had gone down between Sarah and her mother, I wondered what went between them what could be so bad.


I guess she would tell me when she was ready....at least I hoped she would. I asked Sarah if she played the guitar and she nodded her head "music is my passion," she told me, I nodded it was good she felt passionate about something.

I told Sarah a little about me the stuff that I liked. The types of movies I enjoyed, my conversations tools were pretty much limited. It's not like I could say..... "Hey im a vampire, I was around when the titanic sunk oh and yeah the man walking on the moon, big load of horse shit." I did not want to lie to Sarah so I stuck to the trivial stuff and by the looks of it she did not care.

She had dinner and I made up the excuse of having business to attend to in my room for work. I turned on my laptop and placed Sarah's name in the search engine again I wanted to know everything about her and her mother now. I sighed and closed the laptop and decided again to let her tell me when the time was right. Sarah went to bed and I waited until she was asleep I snuck into her room and watched her sleep.

I noticed she was huddled up in the fetal position, I just realized she was huddled up like that the first time I watched her sleep. I continued to watch her for an hour or two more and I looked at her painted face and came up with a theory on Sarah. I think she is in serious pain, she has made herself so ugly and given herself an attitude of rage and hate to keep others out.

I wondered why I paid such close attention to her, why did I even care about her. She was a human nothing more...nothing less thats what I told myself, but still I did not believe it. I walked closer to her and her scent entered my nostrils I found my throat burning with thirst and I left the room.

I went out hunting and found myself a human that satisfied my thirst. Once I killed the human and cleaned up after myself I went to the music store and bought the best guitar they had. I returned home and placed it in my room I had no idea why I did it why I bought her this gift.

I went back to watching her sleep my eyes widen as I heard her speak "Don't leave me....I don't want to be alone." her voice was so fragile. I watched her the entire night something inside me changing....I think it could be love. I was taken by surprise I did not think I had it in me to fall in love.

I think this is insane, I haven't even known her for a week and I love her....I have been tricked by nature, but I don't care I don't care at all that it's a trick its a blissful and empowering trick. Watching this beautiful girl with the face of an angel....a goth angel. I knew that it was true and it was the sole reason why I did not kill her, I loved her since the first moment I saved her from becoming a pancake on the road I was in love.....Love at first sight I always thought it was bullshit huh.

I watched her for the rest of the night and left her room just before she woke up.

We went shopping today to buy her some office clothing I told her she looked hot in her new outfits and she flipped me off....she actually flipped me off I chuckled and smiled ,I loved her attitude. I approached her and told her she would look even better once she removed the goth makeup. She told me she had no intentions of removing her makeup and i told her no emploee of mine would look like a clown. She laughed in my face she is so daring so confident i love the way she laughs. She told me there was nothing I could do about it since it wasn't in the contract I made her sign. I checked my Ipad and fuck me dead... she was right.

I Admitted defeat, she had won this round ,she told me it would not be the last time she would win and I grumbled "we will see about that." I insisted on paying for the clothing as a work expense, but she would not allow me to do it. She payed for everything and climbed in my car.

I told her she looked frightful with the makeup, she told me the only thing frightful was Justin Beiber singing. I asked her who that was and she told me about him, she really hated him she told me if she was at one of his concerts she would be screaming "OH my god it's Justin Beiber" with all the other fans, then she would yell "quick someone hand me a shot gun."

I chuckled, finding it humorous she really hated him. I said her "no one could be that bad." Once we got home she looked him up on youtube .....I heard the music and I hissed, I felt like I was dying on the inside...... I thought nothing could hurt worse then the change to becoming a vampire. I was wrong.... listening to the boy forgotten by puberty sing was Agony.

I told her whoever gave that child a singing contract should suffer in his own personal layer of hell. Sarah smiled and she looked away from me.

She told me she needed some time alone and left the house. I wonder what was wrong? I went to my room and gift wrapped her present and came to write in you, So here we have it All this strange emotions in the short time of knowing the human....she is a special one and I am starting to understand the Cullen who fell in love with a Human.

When Sarah comes back I am going to give her the Guitar I hope she likes it...maybe she will play for me if I ask her to.

~Brian Jacobson