The Swan Song [Entry 39]

Isabella Swan your heart was broken beyond repair, you probably wondered if Edward cared, feeling there was no way out you took your life without a doubt. Good bye to you Isabella Swan your heart was broken and now you are gone. The life you threw away will torment Edward everyday. A fragile human you will always be, and now your nothing but a memory. The love you now have is forever gone and is now replaced with your swan song ~ Rosalie Hale

Topic: The end of my brother's world
Date: March 18th 2006

Dearest Diary,

So much has happened, the last time I wrote to you I was in Paris with my beloved husband, my best friend and my mate; Emmett. After we left Paris Emmett and I came to visit the Denali's... our cousins. We have been with them ever since, eventually Alice and Jasper came to visit the Denali's too. I was happy to see my sister and brother, it felt like old times, the four of us reunited. Alice and I went out to town with Kate, Irena and Carmen we went clothing shopping much to Emmett and Jasper's horror.

I don't think I have told you why they are horrified, see when Alice and I go shopping it's just fun, we find what we like and buy it, but this is much different today it wasn't just Alice and I shopping. Kate, Irena and Carmen were with us, none of us will ever admit it, but when we come together and shop things get competitive it becomes a sport. The men of course flee like we had the plague or something. When it comes to shopping with our cousins things do get competitive, but it's still fun of course because we are a family.

My main concern was with my cousin Irena, her chin length silvery blond hair was covering her face, the area around her eyes were dark purple So I knew she wasn't feeding much. Irena eventually told us she had enough and walked out of the store. I looked at my sister and cousins and told them "you know Irena is right, this store has horrible clothing... I think I shall join Irena" I spoke making sure to sound shallow. I joined Irena and saw she was nowhere in site, so I sniffed the air and smelled her scent and followed her, I eventually found her sitting on a bench beside Kate's car, She was acting human to blend in.

I should probably explain what I mean by "acting human". Vampires have near limitless stamina, we never get exhausted, we never sleep. with limitless energy we don't need rest, so we could pretty much stand still like statues for near eternity if we wanted to, but if we did that the humans would be sure to notice so we act human. We sit around, we fidget about and blink our eyes, it is imperative we do this so as not to be discovered. I sat beside my cousin and casually asked her what was wrong, she told me it was nothing and I asked if was about the shopping, just to keep up my shallow pretenses of course. Irena looked at me and told me it was Laurent. I did not know Laurent. I had met him a total of two times, the first when he interrupted our baseball game at Forks and the second when he came to our home and sold out his coven mates James and Victoria.

When I heard Irena mention his name I immediately saw his olive skin and dark hair, he had a French accent. I listened as Irena told me that she had fallen in love with him, this surprised me.

I asked Irena about Laurent I was curious to know what happened to him, If he and Irena were in love then they should be together, but since Emmett and I arrived I have yet to see him. Irena told me that he had to do a friend a favor and he would be back in a few days, but Irena told me the problem with that was on the 4th of March and it was already the 16th and she had heard nothing from him. I knew why Irena was worried, to have to go that long without hearing from Emmett I would have been frantic with worry and fear that something may have happened to that reckless monkey man of mine, so I never let him go anywhere without me if I can help it. I did not know what to say to make my cousin feel better, she was afraid for Laurent safety and I could see it in her eyes.

I wondered what I could do to help her. The thing is I am not the maternal type, I am a self centered princess I put my needs above those of everyone else if anyone could help Irena it would have been Esme. My mother she was a selfless woman she put the needs of everyone before her own. I thought about Esme and wondered what she would do, while I thought about it I sat next to Irena and brushed a strand of hair from her face, I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her I told my cousin to have faith in Laurent that he would return before she knew it.

Irena was shaking, and I was shocked I let go of her and got off the chair to crouch in front of her, with my finger I gently tilted her head up to meet my gaze and words could not express how much pain I saw in her eyes, her cheeks were puffy, I could see she was upset and if she was human she would be in tears "no he won't he is dead I can feel it." her voice broke out. Irena stood up and I got up from my crouching stance and looked at my poor cousin, "I can feel it..." she spoke I threw my arms around Irena and pulled her in close in a hug. I did not question her feelings how could I? When I met Emmett there was this spark a connection between us, and it was that way for Irena, I wondered would I know if something ever happened to Emmett? "it's all my fault, I should have gone with Laurent I should have never left him to go alone." Irena whimpered out, I pulled Irena from my embrace and told her "Irena be strong and have faith in Laurent." I spoke trying to reassure her.

Irena nodded her head "ok" she spoke out, I smiled and petted her hair, Irena seemed to calm down. Alice, Carmen and Kate joined us a few moments later they each had two bags, with the exception of Alice who somehow managed to carry four in each hand "it seemed your sisters lost this round." I told Irena, she let out a laugh with a sob at the end as she tried to smooth the puffiness around her eyes. "Be strong" I whispered to her. Irena nodded and Alice spoke out "Amateurs didn't have a chance against me." I scoffed at Alice "that's right team Cullens win the shopping war of 2006" I joked at her, Alice raised an eyebrow "no no no Rosalie, I won the war your not stealing my thunder." she spoke playfully. Kate opened the boot of the car and they lowered their shopping bags into the boot Irena and I climbed into the back seat of the car sitting together and we could hear Alice and Kate debating over who would drive back to the Denali's place Carmen sat beside me at the back the three of us sat there in silence "Sorry shorty this is my car and I say I'm driving." I looked in the review mirror to see Kate dangling the car key's in front of Alice and I smiled. I nudged Irena who was looking out the window and pointed to the review mirror. She giggled a little watching Kate and Alice continue to debate.

I have to Admit Alice and Kate were always like this when they got together, the reason is because of their personalities... they clashed, but not in a bad way. I should try to explain you see the similarities in Kate and Alice are that their both extremely stubborn and will go about and do things their own way regardless of the consequences. The debate between Alice and Kate ended, Kate won this around. It was strange to think Kate came out the winner, I guess I am just so used to seeing my sister get her way all the time. The drive home was quiet entertaining Alice flipped the radio on and one of my favorite songs was on the radio, Independent Women by Destiny's child. Alice and I knew this song well, and we started singing along with the radio and moving around in our seats. we did this a lot the two of us during car trips, Irena, Kate and Carmen looked at us as if we were possessed, Alice and I sang with the song it was a blast. The song ended and I laid back and Irena watched me "what it's our jam" I spoke with a smile.

We made it home and I still had the song stuck in my head. I helped Alice out, with the music of the song still pounding about in my mind. We entered the Denali's house to be greeted by Emmett, Eleazar and Jasper. Emmett hugged me and I kissed him passionately, everything was perfect that was until I heard a shocked gasp, I looked at Alice and saw that look in her eyes, she was having a vision and judging from the horror in her eyes it was pretty bad. If I didn't know better I could have sworn Alice went another shade of pale "Don't do it... please" she spoke out in a whisper she was petrified. Emmett let go of me and I went to Alice, Jasper had his arms around Alice protectively "what is it Alice what are you seeing." he asked in his southern accent. Alice did not answer she broke out of Jasper's grip "please don't do it" she spoke out again, I started to feel afraid, and concern for what my sister was seeing.

Alice fell to her knees "No she did it" she wailed out her voice was in clear pain. "Alice calm down what happened" I asked her my voice was strained with concern. "it's... Bella... she's dead." I couldn't believe it, Bella... the girl my brother had loved so much he broke his own heart to keep her safe..."How" it was Emmett who had managed to get the question we all wanted to know. "She... she jumped off a cliff and into the sea... She didn't resurface... and as much as I am trying I can't see her" she spoke out her voice was filled with sadness. I knew how much Alice had cared for Bella this must have been difficult for her to deal with. Alice managed to pick herself up "I Have to go... I have to see if there is anything I can do." We all followed Alice as she ran off to the guest room to collect her passport "We made a promise to Edward Alice," Jasper spoke, "well you can keep your promise, I am going... I have to do what I can, I owe Bella that much." she spoke out. I couldn't say anything I just watched my sister in a state of numbness, she was packing a bag while calling the airline to make a booking. After she finished I asked Alice what the plan was.

She told me she planned on going to our storage in Seattle and taking Carlisle's car to forks to help Charlie. Kate offered to give Alice a lift to the airport and Alice thanked Kate and before she left Alice swore us to secrecy that we couldn't tell anyone especially Edward. She left with Kate and I stood there in shock. Irena, Carmen and Eleazar left with Kate to take Alice to the airport. Emmett, Jasper and myself was all that was left. We sat together in the living room in silence, I kept thinking about Bella Swan, I was so angry at her stupid decision... she threw her life away, she made Edward's sacrifice pointless. I hid my face in my hands and tried to wrap my head around this to process the death of Bella Swan. I never did like her, but I never wanted her dead. I wanted the opposite I wanted her to live, to live and have children to grow up and have a normal happy life. To have a life full of possibilities and not be frozen like us.

"I am to blame for this... Bella's death... her blood is on my hands." I looked up at Jasper, "don't be stupid Jasper you did not make her jump that cliff. She did that of her own free will." I reassured him, "No I set events in motion I am to blame, If I never lost control Edward would have been with Bella now, Edward wouldn't have been alone, suffering in agony because of me and my weakness." He spoke softly. I did not know what to say to that. I stood up and walked to Jasper and began to rub his back. To reassure him, I looked at Emmett and I could see Bella's death had affected him too. Nothing could be said so we sat there in silence the rest of the day and evening went by quietly, It's been a full twenty-four hours since Alice left to return to Forks.

I haven't heard anything from her, I guess she is trying to console Charlie if he will let her. What about Edward, doesn’t he have a right to know, to grieve, so he could let go of the pain and move on... Edward needs the truth, I owe him that much I am going to go and call him... I will write back soon to let you know what has happened.

~Rosalie Hale