Last days of Joy part 2

The second day
Date: June 8th, 2009

Dear diary,

Today was a great day the vultures had gone into the city to feed with the exception of Marcus and Alec, while I finished off the blood bags in one of the Eski's I left some for Tobias of course, After feeding I went to watch over him, Brian was with me the entire time. He was worried that I considered my son to be a human happy meal he is wrong my son smells to sweet to eat, I will just hug him to death instead.

My son was so quiet, he did not cry when he woke up instead he just looked around. I went to him naturally and picked him up the awareness in his eyes is surprising. I took my son and together we walked out to the beach. I sparkled in the sunlight, Brian said something but I was too lost in the moment to care as I watched my son's subtle glow.

I held him tight and sung for him. I could feel his little hand touch my cheek it was so soft. I wanted to hug him. I noticed a human's scent near by when the wind sent it's scent in my direction and I found my throat burn and it intensified so quickly that I told Brian to take Tobias even though it pained me to do so, but Tobias safety was always my first priority. Brian suggested that I went hunting with Alec and I told him it was a good idea. We left together and ran towards New York City.....That's right ran!

I know it sounds odd, but that's what I did, I have found it impossible to adjust to being a vampire. I am stronger and faster and more aware of the world around me. I see things from a new point of view. The only thing I don't like about being a vampire aside from the thirst...is my human memories are fading away. I tried to think about Jayne, but it was dark I could barely recall anything. I was lucky to have kept that photo of Jayne and myself I looked at it one last time today.

During my run with Alec I asked if he hated me for what I did to his sister. He was quiet for a moment and told me no, he said he was surprised I could actually take Jane on. I said nothing else. We arrived in the city and I had to listen to Alec to learn what exactly to do and then I did as I was told and it resulted with me feeding off two humans.

Alec also taught me the importance of cleaning up after myself and until I adjusted to the life of a vampire I would be accompanied when hunting to make sure I did so.

I had to admit I was glad, I found it hard to control myself. I did not have that problem when I was with Tobias, my little man kept me focused.

After we cleaned up, Alec and I found Aro, Jane and Demetri and together we returned home. I could hear Brian growl. I ran as fast as I could into the house. I went to Tobias room first and saw Brian was trying to feed him baby formula, but Tobias kept pushing the bottle away.

I smiled, Brian looked at Tobias seriously and I laughed when I saw Tobias face, he had the exact same serious face as Brian the little scowl on his face. I shook my head and took Tobias from Brian and held him I grabbed the bottle and spoke to my son telling him to behave and stop giving his father such a hard time. Brian stood up and I sat at the rocking chair and fed Tobias the formula. Tobias did not resist he just looked at me and kept drinking the formula. Brian watched us and I could see it in Tobias eyes...He knew what was going to happen, that's why he was refusing to drink the formula from Brian. My little man thinks it would make me stay.

I hummed a song for him and held him close to me as possible. I did not want to let him go. I kept asking myself how could I give Tobias a life time worth of hugs, kisses and reassurance in such short time. I realized that I couldn't all I can do is trust in Brian, he is a loving man and I knew he would treat our son as a prince.

He would die to protect our special little man, but it would not come to that I have made sure of it. It was true after tommorow I would be out of Tobias life forever and I would never get to give him any gifts or cheer him up when he was upset. I would never be there to wipe away his tears. The only thing I could give Tobias was chance to be free.

After Feeding Tobias, Brian came and took Tobias from me. I reluctantly handed my son over and asked myself what was better then holding my son in my arms? The answer was seeing my son and my true love together.

Brian wanted to take Tobias outside, I made sure Tobias had sunscreen on. I doubt he could get sunburnt, he was half vampire as well as half human. I guess I am being overbearing. Brian was being so impaitent, he kept telling me to hurry up, he was a bigger child than Tobias. He continued to try to rush me while I took my time to made sure Tobias was covered. I leaned in to Brian and put a bit of sunscreen on his nose and told them to scat.

Brian was gone in a flash with Tobias I smiled and watched from the kitchen terrace. I was thankful I could no longer cry, it would have given me away. I would make sure that I would never ever forget this memory ,I would hold this to my heart forever.

Marcus and Aro approached me and gave their observations on how happy Brian and Tobias looked. I Nodded my head and told them I apprecoated the gift they gave me and I would not forget it. Marcus was cocky when he placed his hand on my back and asked me if I would sing for him. I told him later that all I wanted was to spend time with my son and Brian.

Marcus seemed understanding, but then again he was a smart creature he knew that he would have me for the rest of eternity. The trick was on him, maybe he would have me for eternity, but my heart belonged to my son and my true love.

Brian and Tobias returned inside and we spent the rest of the day together. It was time for Tobias' feeding and then bed and I took him. Brian insisted on Tobias having blood since it's bound to taste better. I rolled my crimson red eyes up at him and took the bottle of blood. I looked at the bottle of blood in my hand and then at Tobias. I asked him if he wanted to go halves and Tobias looked at me intently as if to say no. I laughed and he sucked a little blood out of the bottle teasing me.

Brian was cheeky and said he knew another bottle that needs sucking. I threw Brian a dirty look and watched his cheeky grin. I gave the bottle to Tobias and watched him suck the blood out of the bottle. I sang a song to him to pass the time. I sung him one of my favourite songs time after time by cindi laupher

Tobias listened quietly while I sang, as his eyes slowly closed and he drifted off to sleep. He did not even finish his bottle of blood he had a little bit left. I did not notice Marcus and Brian watching me from the doorway, for now Tobias was my world. I took the bottle of blood and placed it to the side of the rocking chair. I held Tobias a little longer and watched him sleep in my arms, his little heart beating like a humming bird thump...thump...thump. I finished singing and watched him stir as I placed him into the crib. I grabbed the bottle of blood and put it next to the changing table. Brian decided to take over and watch our son while I write to you. I need to go now, time is going too fast why won't it to slow down?

~Sarah Frost


Sarah song to tobias