History Lesson (Entry 6)

Date: May 1st 1933

Dearest Diary

I have been an immortal now for seven days. I am very different. Carlisle told me what he was during my transformation, and after my first hunting trip I felt somewhat normal again. I was still obsessed with the need to feed, to feel the warm blood dull the burning in my throat. I was still thirsty, and Carlisle explained it was because of the vampire venom in my body. It was feeding off the human blood inside me, inside my own body.

There have been times when I lost the very essence of myself. The thirst for blood would consume me, it would make me a savage beast who desired to attack anyone who even thought of crossing my path.

To help pass the time Carlisle explained to me how he became a vampire, & how he met Edward. Afer while, Edward took over the story and told me about the illness he faced in his human life. He explained a lot, trying to educate me, and when he tried to touch my arm I shivered away.

I don’t exactly know how to explain what I felt or why I did it. I just don’t think I could ever trust another man. I tried to explain to Edward when he interrupted me and told me he had a talent for reading people’s thoughts.

I was completely shocked by this gift of Edward’s. I did not like it, having Edward read my every thought, it made me feel violated. I don’t think will ever be able to trust another man or let one touch me ever again.

Soon after Esme told me her story and it did not shock me as much. I was getting used to hearing about our kins. I spent a lot of my time looking in the mirror, trying to get used to who I’ve become and what I looked like, but I had problems with it. I could not help but try and experiment. I tried human food. I tasted a strawberry and instantly spat it out… it tasted disgusting, like dirt.

I have decided that my place now is with the Cullens. I need to go now. Edward has returned to give me something to drink, and then Carlisle will explain to me the laws of our kind…vampires.

~Rosalie Hale