Gone public (Entry 27)

Date: March 9th 2006

She came to us from the Valley of the Sun, her essence drove my brother insane and now she knows the truth. What next will befall my family & how do we survive the chaos she brings, I wish I knew the answers to these questions, the only thing I know now is we are no longer safe.

Dearest Diary

I am sincerely sorry for not writing to you Diary. I have been under so much strain that not even Emmett's warm embrace can relieve. Edward and I still are not on talking terms we speak only when needed. I Have even stopped going hunting with Edward.

He knew what he needed to do to end this feud. He had to stop obsessing over that Swan girl. Esme of course dislikes how we are treating one another, but I refuse to sell out and trade in my morals and beliefs. Humans should be with humans. Bella deserved humanity. She deserved to live a life of joy. To have children and grow old and die that is the way it should be.

Edward's behaviour has become careless and eratic. Exactly seven days ago Edward snuck into Bella's bedroom and watched her sleep. The next day Edward sits with her during lunch...while Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I sat outside, as if I needed more reason to dislike the human.

Last night everything changed Edward returned home. I could smell the scent of Bella all over him and I asked him where he had been. He told us he was following Bella and was glad he did it she was almost attacked by thugs. I was shocked when I heard that and I had a flashback to that night where Royce and his friends attacked me. I was glad Edward followed her no one deserved to suffer that ordeal not even Bella.

I wondered how was it one girl could gravitate so much chaos to her? She has a talent for inviting death into her life. If I was her one of her human friends, I would be anxious when I was around her. My sympathy for the Swan girl quickly ended when I learned that after saving Bella he admitted not only his identity as a vampire, but all of our Identitys.

I was furious with Edward and called him a fool for exposing us. I reminded him about the Voltori and he told me not to worry that if they found out he would take all the blame so "My shallow neck would be safe" I was hurt at those words.

How could Edward not realize that it was not just my own safety I was concerned about, but that of our family...of his safety. I recovered from that verbal kick to the stomach and told him "you better."

Afterwards I left the family meeting and Emmett joined me shortly after. We went to the clearing and spent the night there and then returned to get ready for school. When I arrived home Alice chimed cheerfully that Edward had gone to pick up Bella and take her to school.

So this meant I would be taking Emmett, Alice and Jasper to school in my car. That's fine I had no problem with that and to be honest I did not want to be anywhere near Edward after the hurtful thing he had said.

I wondered how could Edward my older brother be so selfish and so pigheaded to not see the truth, to not see how much he was endangering us his family & how much he is stealing from Bella. I know he cares for her I can see it in his eyes and I can see how much he is changing, it's gradual. But I see his humanity being restored and how alive he is becoming. It's a new Edward, but this new Edward comes at much too high a price.

Today Edward and Bella went public with their relationship everyone at school is talking about them. Poor Mike Newton looks like he found out his puppy had cancer or something. Eric and Tyler did not take it much better, I wondered if they formed a I hate Edward Cullen club and then decided I was thinking too much about the humans.

I had stuck with Emmett today and reminded myself of my own private rule I had made after the whole ordeal with my father's death. Never ever take an interest in the humans and that's what I do. I partake in class, but only when needed.

I keep trying to think of a way to stop Edward, but I know I can't he will follow his heart and do what he thinks is right. All I can do is hope, hope that he will come to his senses and let Bella go. Let her go and give her the greatest gift he could ever give her....Life.

~Rosalie Hale