Connected (Entry 8)

Date: April 20th 1935

Something has changed within me, something is not the same and it all began when I saw him.


Dearest Diary
The last time I wrote in you was two years ago, after I murdered Royce King the man who raped me along with his friends & left me to die from the savage beating. He stole everything from me, my friends, my family my entire life! He stole the one thing I wanted most in the world, to be a mother.

I will never forgive Royce. Up until this day, I did not let another man touch me, nor did I touch another man. I would flinch every time Edward or Carlisle came too close to me. It was stupid, I know they would never hurt me. I think of them both as brother & father, but I can't i feel nervous every time I a, merely touched by men.

I would constantly re-live what those swine did to me. In one short day, Immortality changed for me, and it would never be the same again.

I was hunting alone in the mountains of Tennessee and I was over one hundred miles away from home. I heard a yell of pain and ran to investigate it. I could see a grizzly bear slumped over as a man whimpering in pain. I could smell the blood from the man, his scent was greatly appealing.

I walked to the bear and grabbed it, then without effort, I threw it against the tree. The bear stood up and shook its long brown coat of fur and ran off. When I looked at the human I was surprised.

Something inside me changed, it was instantaneous. I am not sure what it was - I just felt connected to the human. Maybe it was destiny, I don't know or care. I am not going to question it.

He was 6 feet tall and had dark curly hair. He was very muscular and the thing that stunned me most was his face. His face had dimples that showed even when he was in pain. He had this innocent quality. I examined this man for just a moment longer and knew this he reminded me of Vera's son, Henry.

I took in a deep breath - I could hold it indefinitely if needed, and I would do that if it meant saving this man. I stood over him and the first words he said to me were are you an angel? I smiled, hearing his voice, he was not like other men. I picked him up and ran home as fast as my feet carried me.

I kept listening for the human's heart beat and repeated the words please hold on in my head. It took all of my strength to stop myself from feasting on the human, his sweet aromatic blood. I begged Carlisle to help him, I could not imagine my life without this human.

Carlisle agreed to save the human & bit him to get the change started. I stayed with the human, not wanting to leave his side. Esme relieved me of my shift and told me to rest a little - she was right to do so, the experience of smelling the human's sweet blood and resisting it for such a long time was difficult.

I have never thought that possible of me. So here I am now, writing about the beautiful man that is screaming in agony downstairs & being turned as we speak. I need to go, I want to be with the human and see his innocent face again.

~Rosalie Hale