Topic: Esme she is my real mother
Date: December 26th, 2005
Dearest Diary
How can I describe yesterday's Christmas? It was a pleasant Christmas, but hollow....incomplete the reason behind that is
because my brother Edward did not make it, everyone was constantly thinking about him and we could not stop ourselves from hoping that he would surprise us and walk in the door, but we knew it would not happen, Alice had no visions of Edward
changing his mind from his mindless hunting of Victoria. I should tell you what I was given for Christmas "Carlisle and Esme
gave me a new jewelery box to hold my jewelery. The box was beautiful, it was black and when I opened it up there was a small mirror inside with a few drawers to hold my rings in. I closed the box and ran to hug my parents.
My gift from Alice and Jasper was nice too, they bought me a beautiful diamond necklace and bracelet . I thanked them, loving the gift and trying it on in an instant, my gift from Emmett was by far my favorite he gave me a new gold ring, carved on the outside of the ring, was a heart with RH+EC, in the insides of the ring there was an inscription written "the best is yet to come." I jumped up and hugged Emmett and he hugged me back, his hands moved down my back and to my ass and I pulled his hands back up and kissed him on the lips passionately for a moment and then pulled back. I grabbed my presents I had bought Emmett and handed them to him, he opened the first one up to see the erotic clothing and baby oil, "damn you're gonna look hot in this Rose and the baby oil" I smiled, Emmett had yet to realise the baby oil was for him, I climbed onto his lap and leaned in to whisper in his ear "actually, Emmett, the baby oil is for you and I am going to rub it all over you're body inch by inch....Everywhere." my voice was soft like silk and alluring, I did this on purpose just to tease him.
I pulled back from my monkey man to see the expressioon on his face, he looked excited "Uh excuse us, Rose and I are going to test out her Christmas present" Emmett said. I smiled before I could remind him about the other present, Alice was quick to
chime in "Save it for the honeymoon, we still need the house to be intact in order to live here." I smiled sheepishly and saw Esme mouth "thank you" to Alice and noticed Emmett seemed disappointed.
what can I say about my family their not as flamboyant as Emmett and I. My poor Emmett groaned and settled with french kissing instead, he pulled me in closerand I leaned into him kissing him back, our tongues were massaging against each others, neither of us cared that our family were watching, I could hear Alice make an "Ew" sound and I kissed Emmett with more passion just to spite her and she knew it. Alice threatened to get a hose to cool us off, and we stopped, I knew my sister, she would do that without hesitation.
After we all opened our presents we went outside to build a snowman family, it is rather childish, but fun I could see Esme
was still overjoyed about the new land she & Carlisle had just gained from Emmett and I for Christmas. We worked on building
a snow man family and as I bent down to get more snow I felt something wet hit me on the ass, I stood up and looked around
and saw Emmett whistling, I knew it was him, it had to be, he only whistled when he was trying to act innocent. I Picked up the upper torso of the snow man and I threw it at my him, Emmett saw the snowman, his mouth opened in a shocked expression and ducked at the last moment. I watched as the snow man's torso continued on and hit Alice from behind "bet you didn't see that coming" Emmett joked as he turned to face Alice.
My sister turned to look at us, she blinked a few times completely soaked in cold icy water, she couldnt feel the cold water of course, but she was still soaked. Jasper and Carlisle laughed with Emmett while Esme and I smiled seeing Alice's confused expression on her face it was priceless. Alice picked up her snowman's head and threw it at me, I ducked at the last moment and turned while I crouched to see half of the snowmans head hit Esme.
Alice tried to supress a giggle but she burst out into a fit of laughter. Esme pulled off her snowman's head "This means snow FIGHT" she yelled and threw the head of her snow man at me, I dived out of the way and the snow man hit Emmett. I landed sliding on the icy ground on my stomach and got up slowly, we had a great time it was a shame Edward was not here, I would have thrown one right at the back of his head.
After our snowball fight we went inside and got changed, we spent the rest of the day together watching festive movies involving Christmas morals and lessons. Esme of course still treated us all like her children so it was her idea. The day and night passed fast and here we were with boxing day. I waited for evening and when it came I decided to do something I never thought I would do again. I decided to go to the cemetary, Emmett asked me if he wanted me to come with him and I told him that I would be fine.
I was on my way to my rental car when Esme stopped me, she asked me if she could come with me and I did not have the heart to turn her down. So I told her sure, it would take us 90 miles to get from Ithica to Rochester, the entire drive was quiet between Esme and I. I can't imagine why she chose to tag along with me I was sure she knew I would not exactly be good company and she definetly knew we weren't going shopping, but still she chose to come along.
We arrived at Rochester and I stopped to look for a florist, I was amazed to find one open on Christmas day. I bought two boquets of roses and returned to the car, our next stop was the cemetary, I took my time walking to my parents grave, Esme was at my side the entire time, while I tried to discover why exactly I was here. We made it to my parents grave and I was shocked to see graffiti on their graves, "Damn no good street punks." a hiss escaped my red lips. I bent down to give my parents the bouqet of roses and made a fist out of anger.
I stood up and introduced Esme to my parents. "you met my parents a few times, right Esme." I asked her, she stepped up beside me now and nodded her head "yes, I remember them at your engagement party to Royce." She said.
I remained quiet "you didn't get to meet my real parents, you only met their sociable side, the side they showed to the public....My father, he was a hard working man. He was quiet and placed his family needs ahead of his own, he always made sure I had beautiful clothing of the latest trends so I could woo in HIM!" I spat out the last part with hatred.
I felt Esme wrap her arms around me, her head leaning on my shoulder as she tried to comfort me, I continued on "my Mother,
she was an odd sort by today's standards, she gave me lessons on how to be a lady...she gave me lessons how to satisfy a man,
so he would remain loyal to me...she taught me many things Esme, but like me she was extremely shallow...they both used me
Esme, they used me to elevate their social standards in society, So he....Royce would provide for my brothers and them...I often wonder if I was anything more than a tool for them," I said to her and smiled for a moment. My hand moved to Esme's hand "mother...father you never had the chance to meet the real Esme...So this is Esme Cullen she has been taking care of me since I...well since my disappearance, She is more of a mother...of a role model to me than either of you ever were. I wish that I never became what I am, but I am grateful to have her in my life." I said my voice became a little high in pitch, Esme stepped in front of me and she hugged me tight "it's ok Rosalie, let it all out."
I smiled "no I am fine, you know Esme, the last time I was standing in this spot, was at the night of my fathers burial, fiifty four years ago...I stood at this exact same spot and I blamed myself for how their lives turned out, I thought I failed them, back then I was too consumed by grief, but now time has passed, I have mourned the death of my parents and brothers and have seen things a lot clearer, I did not fail my parents...they were the ones who failed, they failed my brothers and I, it wasn't my job to provide for them, to ensure their future....it was their job to do that for me, it was their job to love me and support me without personal gain...seeing how you guided all of us and treated us as your own... I was finally able to realize that."
I looked at Esme, she looked like she was lost for words, I hugged her and thanked her for coming with me, she told me she did not mind at all along with some other things. I had one last thing I had to do before I went back with Esme, I went to Royces' grave, Esme followed me and I looked at Royce's tombstone it seemed someone replaced it, the words were faded out and I swung my foot and kicked the tombstone. Royces' tombstone shattered and I smiled "Bastard, you got off too lightly." I spat out, Esme grabbed my hand and I looked at her and had a sad smiled "lets go." she said and we left, Esme drove us home, She seemed to be happy, and I felt the same way. I Realized that maybe I am capable of change, that I am growing emotionally. It's just going to take time, but hey whats time to a vampire.
On the drive home Esme suggested I research my family like Alice, to see, learn about my brother's children and grandchildren, I told her it was best to leave my old family in the past where it belonged and focus on my real family.
She was silent again and I wondered what thoughts went on in that head of hers. We returned home and Emmett bombarded me with a hug and I hugged him tight, I watched Esme run off to Carlisle and went to the guest room with Emmett, I caressed Emmett's cheek with my hand and got lost in our private world, nothing else around us mattered when I am with Emmett, my heart feels like it could start beating again. I thought about all the memories and experiences I had with Emmett, he is my prince charming.
My pillar of strength and my soul mate. I have to go now, Emmett and I have to get packing, we leave on the first for our honeymoon. Emmett won't tell me which location we are going to first, typical of him....I may try and call Edward too.
~Rosalie Hale
Sat Dec 04, 2010 11:06 pm by 
