Peace Treaty with Dogs(Entry 11)

Date: March 5th, 1936

Dearest Diary

It is almost Emmett’s one year anniversary of being a vampire. He has become a lot easier to manage, although sometimes he finds it difficult and has had slip ups, but I could never hate him for it - he proves over and over that he is worthy of redemption.

I owe Carlisle a lot for saving Emmett. While I still wish he did not save me, I am grateful he gave me my Emmett. I think about it now and I feel so conflicted with how everything is. I wish for death, but am relieved that I am here…I guess the only thing that stops me from being a female version of Mr. Doom and Gloom (Edward) is Emmett, he is my life. Yet I do still wish Carlisle did not save me. These conflicting feelings are enough to send a girl to an insane asylum.

I forgot to mention that we moved to a nice small town called Forks. We live out of town, where Esme is having fun redecorating this house they bought. She has talked about expanding the place, too, which sounds like a good idea. I would help out of course… having all this inhuman strength comes in handy.

Watching Esme, I realize that it’s the little things we immortals do that can make Immortality bearable. Esme is happy with redecorating. Carlisle is happy treating the ill as a doctor, and I am happy with Emmett. He is mine & belongs to me, and me alone.

I love seeing him smile. Emmett’s smile exilirates me & when his big strong arms are around me I feel protected, safe. As long as I have Emmett, no man will ever harm me again. Emmett is the center of my attention, but Edward….he has nothing. He is an amazing musician, but it’s not his passion…not his true passion. I feel sorry for him and think he needs to find a soul mate, an eternal partner.

I don’t want him to be alone forever - he deserves happiness. I have been careful not to have these thoughts about Edward when I am around him. I know how he hates pity. Whenever I wish to shield my thoughts from him, I think about myself and how amazing I look. It took me a long time to learn how to do this - the reason behind why I came up with this was simple. I feel that when Edward is in my head, my mental privacy is violated…being violated like that… it reminds of why I was turned.

I block my thoughts from Edward, and if he thinks I am shallow, then so be it, better to have some privacy. Speaking of privacy, the locals of this area don’t seem to understand what privacy is. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Emmett & myself were out hunting today when we were interrupted by three filthy overgrown mutts. One of them actually had the nerve to growl at me. I was not amused by this and before I could kill the stupid mutt and feed off it, Edward stopped me and told us all something unsettling.

The wolves had the thoughts of men. Edward explained that the wolves knew what we were, and wanted to harm us. Carlisle immediately jumped into action and became the diplomat, explaining we had no intentions of harming them or others. Edward explained, under his breath, that the other two wolves wanted to attack and try to kill us, however the biggest wolf was hesitant.

The giant wolf turned into a man right before our eyes and I crouched low, hissing, ready to attack. He was an appealing man, but to tell you the truth - he was nothing compared to Emmett. The wolf man’s name was Ephraim Black. He was the leader of “spirit warriors.” Ephraim informed us that we were on their land and after a long discussion and a bit of arguing, Carlisle & Ephraim came up with a deal. We, the ‘cold ones,’ must abide by these laws:

1. Never kill another human being
2. Never turn another human being
3. Stay off their lands.

Their side of the deal was:

1. They would keep our secret from the humans.
2. Stay off our private land.

If you ask me, Carlisle is not that good of a negotiator. Edward later told me that the mutts first target would have been Emmett - because of his size they viewed him as the biggest threat and wanted to take him out first, while they had the most energy. Well, they would have been sorry if they followed through with their initial intentions. I would die to protect Emmett.


~Rosalie Hale