April 20, 1935

April 20, 1935

Diary,

I am going to have another son, I hope.

Rosalie was out hunting earlier today when she stumbled upon a poor young man who was attacked by a bear. The bear was still over him but Rosalie gathered her strength and threw the bear off and saved the young man. I believe he may be her mate. She does not know how to describe what clicked in her that made her take him home but she just knew that she had to. She scooped him up and ran home as fast as possible. She asked Carlisle to change him. After making sure that she was positive that she wanted him changed, he brought him into his study and laid him on the table and cautiously bit into his neck to start the change. It is really amazing to me that he has that kind of control, I had to run to go hunt the second I smelled the human blood in our home. I could not even imagine actualy tasting the blood and not going into a frenzy, no matter how much I despise hurting even animals.

Rosalie was very worried about the young man and would not leave his side almost the entire time. Eventually I had to tell her to go rest, she was beginning to look like she was in a lot of pain, she said his blood was very appealing to her. I asked her to go hunt or at least get away for a while to avoid any unneccasary risk to the young man, her eyes were almost black. I took over and sat with him while she was away as I had promised her I would. I stroked his hand gently wishing there was anything I could do to ease his pain. It is such a hard decision to make to change someone in his condition. On one hand he would have died without us, there was no way we would have been able to keep him alive. Not even if we brought him to the hospital. But the pain and burning it takes to become one of us is terrible. And to top it off we do not even know if he would have wanted to be one of us. I still feel bad for Rosalie being changed but I wouldn't give her up for anything I love her so much. I do not think she would be okay if he decided not to stay with us, she already seems to care for him so much. I do hope he decideds to stay, Rosalie cannot handle any more hearbreak, poor child.

Edward doesn't seem to have any interest in the new possible addition to our family. He came in only once to see if Carlisle was free to come out to talk to him. They talked for a little bit but that was the last I have seen of Edward since then. I asked Carlisle what Edward had to say and he just told me that it wasn't important, he was just worried about the new boy. That he may cause problems, but Carlisle told him there was no reason to worry so soon, as he is not even half way through his change. Personally I think my son may be a little jealous of the new additon. He was the only boy for a long time. I hope he knows I have enough love to go around and that I will not love or care for him any less just because we have a new son. He will just be getting the majority of the attention at first, at least until he gets used to our ways. But we can all look after him and I can still spend time with my Edward. He will always be my number one.

As I finished that last thought Rosalie came rushing back in after the young man had screamed. She ran in all freaked out and screaming "is he ok, what happened, oh my god, is he going to be alright?" I stroked her back and tried my best to calm her down. I explained that this is normal, the burning hurts a lot and everyone screams like that. He will be fine as soon as the venom reaches his heart and stops it. Until then he will be in quite a bit of pain. She seemed really upset, but I understand I felt the same way when she was being changed. It is always hardest the first time around. She then asked if she could be left alone with him for a little bit and after quickly thinking it over I decided it would be ok, she mannaged to carry him all the way here without hurting him, she should be fine now. As I walked out she hugged and thanked me. While I was closing the door I heard her move to his side and stroke his hair and whisper "it will all be over soon my dear, you will be okay I promise you, I am here for you and always will be. I wish I could stop your pain." I smiled lightly and walked back to the living room where Carlisle was and updated him on how things were going. I also told him that I believe this boy may be Rosalie's mate, she seems to love him so much already. This could be a good thing, she will learn to trust again. That would be nice. I just wish that we could find someone for Edward soon, he is always so lonely and sad looking. I think things may get worse if Rosalie has a mate too, at least before he wasn't the only one who was alone. I am starting to feel very upset about my son now, I am going to go spend some time with him, see if he will play his piano for me and if I can make him a little happier. I juat hate that he can read my mind and feels down for knowing he makes me sad when he is sad. I just love him so much and hate to see him hurting.

Always,
Esme